Commercial Break
by Gnee
Summary: Just a bunch of nonsensical Hannaland drabbles. T for eventual language. To be updated weekly.
1. In Which We Meet Lucy

"Come on, Worth, I just want to get back already."

"What, missin' yer soaps, Confag?" Worth grinned that hideous, twisted smile, showing off more of his yellow and crooked teeth than the vampire cared to see. Before he could spit back some clever reply and demand a bag, splashing and the sound of running came from outside. Conrad knew who it was without turning around or stopping to think.

"Lookit, Connie, S'yer mommie!" Worth got up from his desk to open the door for Hanna, who always had trouble with it during storms. The redhead stumbled in either ignoring Worth's comment or maybe he just hadn't heard it because of the booms of thunder that followed him through the door. He'd wrapped himself in a black coat, probably belonging to his dead friend, because it was about five sizes too big for him and he looked even more like a kid. Hanna didn't look at Worth or Conrad as he swept across the office into the back room, leaving little puddles behind. Worth rolled his eyes and turned back to Conrad, reaching into his own white coat. He just held his hand out; he knew the drill.

"Didya know, Connie, that it's yer birthday?" If Worth wasn't grinning before, he was now. The smirk he'd been wearing moments before twisted into something more monstrous, more hideously evil that Conrad dared to think possible for the doctor. He was trying to smile like a normal person. Conrad nearly cringed at the realization, but as if on auto-pilot, he took the bloodbag from Worth with a mutter of thanks and proceeded to have his dinner. He watched as Hanna backed back into the room, his arms cradling something to his chest. He was just happy to have a reason to look away from Worth.

"Hey, Hanna. Where's the zombie? And what the hell smells like dog crap?" Conrad's tone was thick with suspicion that was trying to make itself into conversation. Hanna, apparently, chose to ignore the obvious insult as he struggled with whatever was in his hands.

"He's at the apartment. He can't go outside when it rains...He says happy re-birthday, though, and I got you a present..._Ow_!" Hanna didn't look behind him throughout the whole ordeal of trying to make the gift presentable. It wasn't until the redhead turned around that things started making sense again for Conrad. For one thing, it was not his birthday. The day he was born in a hospital wasn't what they were talking about. They were talking about the day Adelaide decided he would taste the best out of a man-child, a dead guy, and an artfag. They were talking about celebrating the day he'd died. He would have laughed, if he'd been in a better mood.

Another thing - Hanna smelled _awful_. He hadn't been referring to the gift - which smelled too, but not as bad. There were cuts on Hanna's face and hands, and obviously he'd taken up a job that was a bit too tough for him. It made Conrad wonder how hard it had been for the detective to get out of the apartment - no doubt he'd had to sneak out the window or something. Conrad sincerely doubted that the zombie would have let him go at this time of night - especially with a storm like this when he couldn't be there.

These things were annoying enough - but they paled in comparison to the actual present. No - he was sure Hanna had outdone himself in this endevour. The little shaking bundle in his hands was the last thing Conrad wanted for his birthday. It Hanna's tiny arms was an even tinier gray cat. It was thin, still a little wet, and it looked right pissed off to be there. Hanna was still sucking on his thumb, which the cat had taken the liberty of scratching. Even Worth was silent for forty seconds before he burst out into laughter, and Conrad would have gone red if he could.

"Hanna - that's a cat."

"Yup! Her name's Lucy!"

It wasn't coincidence. He knew better. Worth was in on this, he was probably the one that found the thing. But Conrad couldn't so much as heave a sigh before Hanna dropped the cat on him. He froze for a second and then did his best to catch the flea-infested bag of flesh that would certainly make an odd meal later. Conrad carefully shifted the cat in his arms, having no experience holding animals, and turned to Hanna, trying to pass her back.

"You don't want her?" Hanna's smile left his face and he looked like a kid whose ice cream had fallen off its cone. Conrad scowled at him, but didn't put the cat down. Because she was purring. And nuzzling his arm, whereas she had been spitting and hissing at Hanna whenever Conrad had held her out for him. It was strange - any dog the vampire had met before either attacked him or steered clear of him. It was the same with cats - but why was this one any different? Conrad wearily scratched the cat's forehead and grimaced at Hanna and Worth. Conrad opened his mouth to speak as he set the cat down, but for the third time that night, he was interrupted. Not by Worth or Hanna, but a sickly crunch. Hanna cursed and swiftly gathered Lucy up in his arms, trying to hide the sight from Conrad.

"W-what the hell just happened? Did I kill her...?"

Worth lit up a cigarette and sidled over to his desk, where Hanna had begun to poke at Lucy. She hissed at him and tried to latch onto his arm. As Hanna yanked his arm back, Conrad got a good glimpse of Lucy's leg, which was separated from her body, laying lifeless on the desk. Worth took over for Hanna, still chuckling as he stitched the leg on.

"Yeah, you'll have to be careful with her. Me and Steve-o found her on the street, and she falls apart easily cos she nearly got out of the coat, so yeah..."

"Wait." Conrad held up a hand to stop Hanna's rant. "You got me _roadkill _for my birthday?"

After careful consideration, Hanna nodded and smiled sheepishly.

* * *

**Of course I don't own HiNaBN, you dingus. I'd make a pretty awful Tessa. **

**So this is my break from Home Sweet, which isn't going to be so angsty that I need a vacation, but I like to have two things going on. This will be updated either Monday or Wednesday. I will tell you for sure at the end of each chapter what to expect. I hope you enjoy! Tell me what you think!**

**Edited! This'll be updated this Monday, although it won't be about Conrad and Lucy this time. I'm thinkin' we'll drag in Gallahad, since he didn't get to be in the first one...**


	2. Lost in the City

On a normal day, Ermolai would cook something up for Hanna, maybe the two would walk around, then Hanna would get some sleep. He only ever left after he was assured by Hanna's soft snoring, but as soon as he had the go-ahead, Pero would quietly exit the apartments and go on his own walks. Of course he enjoyed Hanna's company - to the highest extent one can - but he very much enjoyed his own personal strolls through the darkest corners of the city. His friend showed him very much of the city, things you would not find even if you looked for them (such as Worth's office, but then again, why _would_ you look for Worth), and Raghu certainly enjoyed exploring those things more thoroughly on his own at night. With so much time on his hands, time that he didn't waste on dreaming, he had found his own favorite corners of the city, from gloomy graveyard paths and old-fashioned confectionery shops (although he couldn't have any, it was a delight to see the candy being made).

But in more ways than one, it was by no means a normal day, even for Felix and Hanna. Early in the morning, Hanna had discovered several colored sharpies and decided to find out what would happen if he used them to make runes. The result was a dazzling light show - Hanna doodled light runes all the way to the crook of his left elbow, and manipulated the colored lights with his right hand. Wherever he pointed or waved, color would follow, creating an accordion-like lazer show. But then Hanna said he felt like he was hogging all the fun, and insisted that Roy at least gave it a try, although Hanna seemed afraid of writing a rune of his friend's hand, he did allow Hector to pull his wrist about. It was very much fun for the both of them, sending little fireworks of purples and oranges through the room, until Hanna fainted. Ford then carried his friend to Worth, who laughed and told Hanna no more colored markers. Afterwards, on a walk around town, the two found an abandoned kitten. Hanna refused to get anywhere near it, so Ritz picked it up.

Unfortunately, as soon as he turned the cat over, the awful stench of rot wafted down the sidewalk. The cat seemed gravely injured, yet it twitched with life. Although he wasn't quite sure why, Zac became very attached to the cat and asked Hanna if there was anything to be done. Hanna wanted to try and revive it with a rune, but Valdas was very reluctant to allow his friend to use runes for the rest of the day after the fireworks spectacle, so they carried the cat to Worth. After much protesting, some swearing, two bottles of booze and a pack of Marlboro's later, Worth agreed to stitch up the cat and make sure it lived. Four hours later, the two friends came back to check up on their new pet road kill.

"_Helluvah_ fighter, that bitch. She nearly bit meh fuckin' finger off - Ohuh? Yeah, she's fine yeh twerp. She's only got one uv'er front teeth, looks like she was hit by a bike're somethin', 'm not sure..."

"Wait, you said she has _one_ tooth?"

"Yuh. Whut're yeh drivin' at, punk?"

Worth had been talking through a cigarette as he was trying to light it, but it nearly fell out as a malicious grin grew on his face. Everyone in the room spoke all at once -

"_Conrad_."

"Dude! We _have_ to give Conrad that cat!" Hanna was over-excited about something small - again. Lars stepped forward, concern on his face.

"Hanna, I don't think Conrad would even take the cat...And is it even in a good enough condition to live with him?"

"'Ey! 'Er name is Lucy, so quit callin' 'er 'it'." Hanna jumped and turned his head, Worth having abandoned the conversation as soon as he'd started suggesting giving the cat, Lucy, to Conrad. Kirk raised a brow, and the two stared at the scruffy doctor who was across the room at his desk messing with some ancient radio. "Supposed'ta rain tonight."

"..._So_?"

"_So_ - " Worth mocked under his breath, exhaling smoke through his nose, "Yah think a wimpy artfag like Connie'll dump a poor pussycat in the rain?"

"_Oh_." The grin on Hanna's face took after Worth's; mischievous and crazed.

The two ended up going back to the apartment, since Worth didn't have the proper supplies to make Lucy presentable (ie. a comb). Hanna spent hours trying to make the sutures on Lucy's legs and stomach look less...Hideous, but with little success, since the cat utterly refused to go anywhere near Hanna. So eventually, the task was presented to Lanzo, who did a fair job, and Lucy took quite a liking to him after nearly tearing his thumb off once or twice. He would carefully brush her fur around the stitches, and sometimes she would growl or bite him a little, in which case he would stop and wait until she continued to pur before resuming. When he finally showed her to Hanna, the redhead was very satisfied with the change. Worth had already given her a bath, so her fur wasn't very coarse, but she didn't exactly look fresh out of PetSmart, either, but Hanna said it suited her, the scruffy look. Worth, after all, had been her namesake, so she might as well look the part.

Unfortunately, it began to rain before Hanna and Armen could make the trek back to the office. Hanna considered calling the whole thing off, but Göstav just stood up and took off his coat.

"You go ahead, Hanna, give Conrad his birthday present."

Hanna was about to protest, but when his friend held out his coat for him, the zombie was astounded by the animation that lit up Hanna's face. All of the sudden, Hanna had wrapped himself around the zombie's waist, and it went very quiet for a moment. "I'll tell him you said happy birthday...Thanks, Sergei!"

Sergei nodded and gave Hanna a rare smile before he watched his redhead friend head out the door. Hours went by as Sergei sat unattended at the apartment, not quite so used to being left to his own devices, unable to leave the apartment. It was a bit frustrating at first, as he'd long since finished the few books he'd possessed, but he wiled away time wondering about the hug. It was a slightly embarrassing to think about at first, because Sergei wasn't sure how to feel, but then a sort of pride washed over him. It made him...Happy that Hanna smiled like that. Sure, Hanna smiled a lot, but that...That was what his real smile looked like.

After a while, the rain had seized its attack on the window, and Sergei thought it was finally safe to leave the apartment. He opened the window, with a bit of a struggle, and peeked outside. He stuck his hand out to test how much rain he collected, and thankfully, he felt nothing. So after pulling the heavy window shut and securely latching it, Sergei dug through the clutter for some paper and a pen. To his amusement, Hanna kept no pens or pencils - the little wizard only ever used thick, black magic markers. Sergei wrote out a note and tacked it in its usual place on the door and headed out.

His mind was blank for a while, and he kept his eyes to the sidewalk as he wandered through alleys. He didn't like that he had to stick to back roads, because of his exposed skin and the soft glow of his eyes, but he was happy with it, knowing that Hanna was having fun at Worth's. For a moment, Sergei considered walking to the office, but something held him back. It wasn't that he didn't want to go - he just couldn't seem to get there. He didn't really mind, he just wandered on. Although after a few hours, it occurred to him that maybe Hanna wouldn't see the letter, and maybe he didn't know where Sergei had gone. So the zombie stopped where he was, and turned on his heel to find his way back to the apartment.

"Oh,"

The alley behind him seemed to turn into a twisting labyrinth of turns and dead-ends, and it did surprise him, but it didn't deter him. Sergei just kept walking, but as the black sky took on lighter shades, he broke into a fast-walk. Then dawn started to break the gray of the night, and then he just broke out into a run, checking every turn, feeling very foolish for his mistake. Birds and crows started to gather in the back roads, some of the crows giving Sergei trouble, but he just kept running. He didn't even stop when he'd waved his hand and hit one, looking back to see if he'd killed it or not, and that was when he collided with something much smaller than he was.

Sergei stumbled back, shocked. He looked down for whatever it was he'd run into, and was even more surprised to find Hanna at his feet, looking dazed.

"Pasha...? Holy crap, I though I got hit by a car - no offense," the redhead muttered and pulled his legs to his chest end resting his chin on his knee. Pasha noticed he'd worn his coat out to find him. The zombie sat down on the ground next to his friend and the two were quiet for a moment, and Hanna looked up with a sleepy smile on his face.

"You got lost, huh?"

"Just a little."

"Heh, I almost thought you'd ran away," Pasha noticed the relief in Hanna's voice and realized he wasn't supposed to have heard that.

"I'm not going anywhere, Hanna, I just made a mistake,"

As he looked over his friend's face, he could see the unusual worry etched in, and what must have been a sleepless night. It sent hideous waves of guilt rippling through Pasha.

"C'mon, Hanna, I'll carry you back and make you a pancake tower,"

Hanna's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"All **_right_**!" He paused as he was scooped up by Pasha, "Yanno, we should do this more often!"

* * *

**Long chapter for you guys today! See you next week, probably on Monday again!**

**Tell me what you think!**

**Oh, and I'm giving you a choice, if you want it - do you want to see Conrad with Lucy next chapter or Gallahad, Hanna, and Toni shopping?**

**Majority Rule!**


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